The holiday season brings families together to share meaningful moments and create lasting memories. But what happens when a loved one with memory loss can no longer take part in holiday traditions the way they once did?
It can be difficult to watch someone who once helped prepare the holiday meal take a step back. It can also be hard to explain to other family members why celebrations may need to look different.
Changing your traditions doesn't mean losing what makes the holidays special. It means finding new ways to include everyone while keeping family time at the heart of the celebration.
Start With What Matters Most
Many families have favorite holiday traditions. For some, it's a big meal or a loved one's special dessert. For others, it's playing games or singing songs together.
Think about which parts of the holidays your loved one enjoys most. Instead of trying to include them in the entire celebration, focus on a few favorite activities.
Halloween: If your loved one enjoyed trick-or-treating, hand out candy to neighbors in their community. You could also bring in props for a Halloween photo booth.
Thanksgiving: If your loved one once helped prepare dinner, invite them to help with a smaller task, such as washing vegetables or cutting soft foods with adaptive kitchen tools. You could also bring a favorite family dish to share.
Christmas: Listen to favorite holiday songs, join a community caroling activity, or decorate a small tree together. If your loved one enjoys exchanging gifts, bring a few small presents to open.
New Year's Eve: Put together a playlist of familiar party songs, bring glow sticks for a little extra fun, or arrange a small meal together.
These activities can help your loved one feel included without the pressure of taking part in an entire day's celebration. They also create opportunities for meaningful connection in ways that feel comfortable and enjoyable.
The goal isn't to recreate every part of the holiday. It's to enjoy time together in a way that feels comfortable for everyone.
Consider the Pace of the Day
Holiday celebrations can be overwhelming. Multiple conversations happening at once, unfamiliar decorations, and loud music can make it difficult for someone with memory loss to feel at ease.
Memory Care communities often follow daily routines that help residents feel supported. Familiar mealtimes, activities, and rest periods can provide a sense of structure throughout their day.
Keep these routines in mind as you plan for holiday visits. If you’d like to share a meal, try to coordinate your visit with your loved one’s usual mealtime rather than scheduling it at a time that conflicts with their routine. You could also plan to open gifts, exchange cards, or complete a craft during an activity period.
Whenever possible, plan visits during your loved one's usual waking hours and allow time for rest afterward. A little planning can help make your time together more enjoyable.
Make Room for Smaller Celebrations
The holidays often bring large family gatherings, but a busy room filled with conversations, food, and activity may be overwhelming for someone with memory loss.
Instead of bringing everyone together at once, consider spreading visits over several days. Smaller gatherings can give your loved one more opportunity to enjoy time with family without feeling overwhelmed.
Imagine three sons who want to celebrate the holidays with their father in Memory Care. Rather than planning one large gathering, they decide to spread their visits across several days.
One son brings the family's favorite music, another shares his wife's famous apple pie, and the third brings his children to play a game with their grandfather. Each visit focuses on a familiar activity, food, or experience that their father enjoys.
On Christmas Day, the family gathers for a brief gift exchange, keeping a favorite tradition alive while respecting their father's routine.
By spacing out their visits and allowing time to rest between them, the family can enjoy the holidays together in a way that works better for everyone.
Focus on the Moment You Have Together
It can be difficult when the holidays no longer look the way they once did. Families may miss old traditions and feel unsure about how to include their loved one with memory loss.
Remember to take a breath and give yourself some grace, too. Planning around your loved one's needs can feel overwhelming, especially when you're a spouse, child, or sibling trying to make the best decisions for everyone.
Talking with other family members can help. After a visit, take time to discuss what went well, what could be adjusted, and how you can support one another. Some families even make a tradition of meeting at home or a favorite café after their visits.
Remember, you don't have to navigate this alone. Even if some family members don't fully understand your loved one's memory loss, they can still offer valuable support. Everyone has a role to play in helping your family through this journey.
Celebrating in Your Own Way
There is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays. Traditions may change over time, but the people you share them with remain at the heart of every celebration.
By adjusting your plans to fit your loved one's needs, you can continue to enjoy the holidays together, one visit or tradition at a time.
At Inspirations, we love helping families find ways to spend time together that work best for their loved ones. Whether it’s a holiday, a family gathering, or an ordinary afternoon, we’re here to help make each visit comfortable, enjoyable, and suited to each resident’s needs and routine.
Looking for a simple activity to try during your next visit? Check out the activity below!
Holiday Garlands for Any Season
Decorating doesn't have to be complicated to make a visit feel special.
A simple holiday garland is an easy way to bring a little seasonal cheer into your loved one's space, whether you make it together or prepare one ahead of time as a surprise. You can even change the colors, shapes, and decorations to fit any time of year.
You will need:
· Construction paper or cardstock
· Child-safe scissors
· Ribbon or yarn
· Stickers, markers, or crayons
· Paper shapes like pumpkins, leaves, hearts, stars, or snowflakes
· Family photos or small handwritten notes
· Hole punch and tape
Cut out seasonal shapes, add family photos, or include handwritten notes. Let your loved one choose the colors and decorations to make the garland their own or surprise them by using their favorites.
Punch a hole in each piece and thread them onto yarn or ribbon, spacing each one a few inches apart. Continue until you’ve added all your decorations. If the pieces slide along the string, secure them in place with small pieces of tape.
Tie a small loop at each end of the garland so it can be hung easily.
Once you're finished, hang the garland somewhere your loved one can enjoy it throughout the season, such as along a wall, above a doorway, or near the foot of the bed. Secure the garland safely, keeping it away from walkways and areas where it could become a tripping hazard.
This simple craft can be done a little at a time, making it easy to adapt to different interests and abilities. Even if your loved one isn’t a crafty person, they will love sitting with you and reminiscing about the memories the garland brings up.
