Looking for Memory Care or Assisted Living can be a daunting task. It is easy to be impressed by the beautiful flashy newest assisted living buildings out there, but sometimes that’s all that it is: a beautiful, gorgeous building. You feel good because your loved one is moving into a beautiful place. While this is a good thing to look for, it is only good insofar as the services the person needs are also provided and the potential resident actually likes it.

Many caregivers are blinded by the beauty and don’t dig deep enough to ensure the Assisted Living community is the right fit for the person. Choosing the right Assisted Living is complicated and stressful. Many caregivers are ready to just get it done with or just don’t know what they should be asking.

Here are ways to ensure you are making the right decisions.

1. Understand what options are available

Senior Living comes in all sizes and styles. Understand the pros and cons of each. Similar to looking for a college, what is going to be the best for the person who is going to have to live there? Some options include;

• Assisted Living

• Assisted living with Memory Care

• Free Standing Memory Care

• Continuing Care Retirement Communities Small Assisted Living Program

• Nursing Home/Skilled Nursing Facility

For more information, check out our post about Different Types of Senior Living

2. Ask the right questions!

Before you start think about your loved one and their current living situation and personality:

• What is a typical day for the person?

• Where do they spend their time?

• What are their challenges in dressing, bathing, taking medications, grooming, and using the bathroom?

• What do they enjoy doing?

• What are their favorite foods?

• What is important to them?

• What is important to you?

• What makes them happy?

• Do they like to be social?

Sit down, look over this list, and keep it at the top of your mind while touring, while a library with a collection of books about World War II might not be interesting to you, it may be something that would be great for your loved one. While a building may have a grand piano in the lobby, are its bathrooms appropriately accessible? These sorts of questions should guide your tours.

3 . Tour several times before committing to move in

Big secret... most tours happen between 10:00 am - 3:00 pm. Why? Everyone is up for the day, activities are happening, and the community shows well. If it is a scheduled tour, then everyone will be on cue. Staff will be visible. To try to get a grasp of actual community life:

• Try to schedule before or after dinner or during meal times.

• Make sure you get a list of family references.

• Talk to the residents.

It all looks good the first time, but as you go back you will have more and more questions. Like watching a movie the second time, you may catch something you missed the first time.

4. Have your loved one visit before you commit

Most families forgo this step for different reasons. They may not want their loved one to know they’re looking or if they have dementia, they feel it's useless, they won’t remember it anyway. I recommend it for three reasons:

1. It helps them begin developing a relationship with the person.

2. They begin their partnership with the family and have an opportunity to ask questions.

3. It helps ease the person's anxiety and fears of moving to assisted living

Sometimes this is not feasible, and of course, It can backfire - You may visit a community you like and your loved one hates it. But isn’t it better to find this information out before you put down a deposit? If your loved one is unable to visit, at the very least someone from the community, should meet the person in their home.

5. Meet with several staff members

Before you sign that check or make a deposit, have you met the staff in the evening? Have you met the nurse who will be overseeing care? The Executive director? Who will you be interacting with when you need to discuss care concerns or get updates? Who will be taking care of the person? The answer to these questions will not be the marketing director who gave you this tour! Be sure you meet with and trust the people you are entrusting your loved one to!

Final recommendations

1. Understand the cost structures. What are the levels of care and how are they determined? What does all-inclusive include?

2. Ask for a copy of the agreement prior to placing a deposit. Read it carefully.